all aboard ·
10 August 04

James stood at the train platform. It was dark, and musty in odour. He was used to the foul unrecognisable smells from the train station. By the time he used to get home, he’d end up sneezing, and clearing out his nostrils.

The tissue would be left with a black, power dry residue. Today was no different to any other day. Tired from a long day at the office, Jason often tempted fate by standing as close to the edge as possible, rocking back and forth on his heels, laughing to himself as he did. He was often told off by the stewards on the platform to either behave or he would be removed. He considered himself untouchable, beyond laws, even though he obeyed them most of the time. His illusion was his, and it kept him content about his life.

The rats scurried across the railroad tracks, with James spitting over the gap, trying to chase the rats away. He hated the trains, but it was the only way in or out from work. The buses were even more congested, with less seats, and traffic was a nightmare. Still, there was nothing glamorous about sitting in a box, underground, in a tunnel of dirt. He noticed the lack of people around today. In fact, there didn’t actually seem to be anyone around. It was only midweek, and he wasn’t aware of any special event or holiday that was announced. The weather was pretty miserable, but then this was nothing new.

He looked at his splendid watch, given to him by one of the ladies he was sleeping around with. Another fish on the hook, and one that he could make feel as though she was the one person in the world that mattered. James had a knack for flirting with the ladies, often managing to reel them, their friends and sometimes even the mothers (if they seemed young enough) to do his bidding, as and when he wanted. He tapped it a few times, the watch seemed to be broken, displaying 6.66PM.

The light in the tunnel brightened as he stepped away from the edge, having fed his illusion. No one got off the train, and the only two figures that stood along the platform with him got on. James was taken aback by the train itself. It was completely different to the modern day trains that he was used to. It seemed more antique, as if a period train from the Victorian age. He touched the outside as he got in, and felt a burning sensation, and removed his hand immediately. He pulled his foot back from the train flooring, and stood back on the platform. James decided not to get on the train, as something about it just felt wrong.

James, however, considered himself a free spirit, and although he felt he loved her, it was more out of convenience. The guarantee that if he couldn’t get laid somewhere else, there would be something waiting for him at home.

His eye was caught by the flashing on-screen display, blinking, it seemed, at him. He turned his head to look at the display which said, “Last train on Platform A”. “Shit” he thought to himself. If this was the last train, then he would have to take it. There was no way he was planning to get on the bus. James sat on the platform bench, there was something not quite right about this train, aside from looking like an unstable antique. The two figures had disappeared, James assumed they had gotten on the train. He decided to talk to the driver.

As he walked down the platform, he found that all the carriages were empty. The lights were on, but the seats were vacant. The train hummed, but didn’t leave. It waited as he approached the driver area. The driver side window seemed boarded up, so he stuck his head inside, and saw the back of the driver.

“Oi there.”

“Well hello buddy! Hop on board, last train today I’m afraid. I know you’re thinking, ‘what is this?’, but rest assured, this train is absolutely 100% safe. I can’t lie, since it’s more than my job’s worth. Why don’t you sit in this carriage, so we can keep each other company.”

At no point did the driver turn around to talk to James, but he did notice the drivers eyes in a reflective mirror above the driver’s head. James felt reassured, if barely, to get on the train and decided to get on. He avoided touching the outside this time, as the driver laughed.

“It’s a little hot where I was, so the outside of the train may burn a little. Watch your hands.” he cackled as he spoke, like he had something stuck in his throat, and was trying to cough it up while laughing at the same time. James thought nothing of it.

The doors closed, with that familiar steam like sound. Inside, the lights flickered over the Victorian decor, the seats felt new, yet old. Unused, yet sat on. The musky smell had disappeared, and it was reasonably warm inside. James took of his raincoat, and sat his briefcase on the seat next to him.

“You make yourself at home friend, you must be tired from all that hard work.” the driver suggested.

“Same as ever I guess.” James replied.

“I don’t normally do this, but seeing as this journey may take a while, what with all them stops and delays, would you mind telling me your name?”

James had only just noticed the accent of the driver, it was similar to his, a local voice coached to sound more middle-class than it actually was mixed in with the grammar of colloquial English. He didn’t see the harm in telling the driver his name.

“James.”
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“James, eh? Well, James, I too have a name, but I think I’ll tell you at the end of the journey. In case we become friends, you know?”

“I doubt that pal, but whatever, I’d like to sleep if you don’t mind.”

“Hell no! You sleep all you want matey, I’ll just be driving.”

James closed his eyes, and sighed. He was going home, back to the wife he didn’t want. What a mistake it was marrying that bitch. She was such a drag. His days of bachelorhood were ruined by the illusion of love. He still wanted to play around, fuck girls left, right and centre. Two, three, four at a time, and why not? Why should he feel obligated to be faithful, after all he wouldn’t be true to himself, and that was what Kate had always told him, that is to be true to himself, not to cheat.

Things had changed over the years. Kate wanted commitment, she wanted a degree of obedience, worship even. James, however, considered himself a free spirit, and although he felt he loved her, it was more out of convenience. The guarantee that if he couldn’t get laid somewhere else, there would be something waiting for him at home. Kate became aware of this, and with all men being fools, she played him the fool just as he believed she was being fooled.

She put up with James’ infidelity, by carrying out her own. She slept with more men, more often than James could imagine. He was too far gone in his own illusion of being able to betray Kate and getting away with it. Kate just smiled, and the dissatisfaction of the sex life she was cursed with James didn’t bother her. It was the quickest twenty minutes she had to deal with on very few occasions.

“Yep. Don’t mind if you shut your eyes, I can stay quiet.” James woke up, snapping out of his dreams of betrayal.

“What? Where are we?” enquired James, waking from his dazed state.

“Ah we still have a way to go. You only slept for about a minute!” replied the driver.

“Are you sure? Damn this watch!” shouted James, taking his watch off and throwing it against the floor.

“Hang on mate! You can’t be littering here. Ah just fucking with yer, do what the hell you like. Break all the rules you want! Imagine this is your last day on Earth, and you’re on this train going to your final destination wherever it maybe. Think every deceitful thought you can, and imagine every betrayal you want.”

James sat on the platform bench, there was something not quite right about this train, aside from looking like an unstable antique. The two figures had disappeared, James assumed they had gotten on the train. He decided to talk to the driver.

“Betrayal? Why do you say betrayal?”

“No reason, just making idle chat. Think nothing of it.”

James let the comment pass, and become enveloped in the idea of doing whatever he wanted, and breaking every rule that he could. He started to beat his foot against the glass panes separating the seats, tearing them out with his hands. He felt good, he felt released. The driver laughed, maniacally, with James joining in. Rocking back and forth along the train, James finally sat down.

“James, now I know we don’t know each other all that well, but I feel we’re bonding. It’s like I almost know you inside out.”

“You think so eh?”

“Sure why not? I bet you’re married, right?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a marriage.”

“Heh heh heh, playing away from home eh? Yep, you know, I did that myself when I was younger. Seems like I’ve been riding this train for an eternity.”

“Not married then?”

“Well I wouldn’t call it a marriage, if you know what I mean.”

The driver winked via the mirror, and James acknowledged this, laughing at the comment. He set his legs along the seating, where the broken wooden arms and glass lay from his moment of madness.

James remembered the time he’d broken into a shop with his friend Adam in their teen years. Adam was a stocky guy, with long blond hair. He listened to heavy metal, wore tight t-shirts to show his physique, and answered any arguments with his fist. He learnt this from his father.